Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

My First Birthing Experience- Year of 2008

Before I get started, I want to say that I am doing this all by memory. Being a mother, you never forget your babies births, no matter how many you have. I now have six sons. Every day this week, I will be posting the experiences from hospital births, epidurals, to home births, and dealing with the pain. This is all from my perspective as the mother. How I felt during this time.

My first birthing experience was in August 2008. My pregnancy was fine, I had no issues, gained the right amount of weight, and my baby was a healthy 8lbs and 11 ounces when he was born. I remember walking into the doctors office on my due date, naive as can be because, it was my due date after all, I was going to have the baby. I mean surely the doctor would get him out since it was his “due date”. Now let me step in right here to remind you, that a due date is just an estimate it’s not actually the day your baby will be here. About 5-10% of babies are born on the estimated due date. Many factors go into this calculated date, such as when you conceived, the day of your last period, and the baby will tell you when they are ready to arrive. I didn’t know any of this. I learned a long the way everything I know now. Sadly, my doctor told me that the baby wouldn’t be here for some time due to the fact that I was not dilated or effaced at all. I was devastated. She also informed me that in about a week she would be leaving on vacation so she had to schedule me an induction for me at 41 weeks in order to give birth to my son. Again, I was devastated. I told her I’d prefer not to be induced and she said that she would not be able to deliver my baby so she lead me to believe I had no other choice than to be induced. I went along with it. She also informed me that if the induction failed, I’d have to have a C-Section, again, devastated. But, I went along with it. I was 19 years old and had no idea how birthing worked and up until 40 weeks, I had no clue they could force a baby to be born.

After my doctors appointment I went home and looked up ways to help you dilate. I read a lot about Evening Primrose Oil and went and got some, I put it by my cervix, I do want to point out this is not a good idea unless you research medication or herbs, I am not a doctor and am not recommending the use of EPO. It did NOT work for me at this point. I went to the hospital at 41 weeks and was still a zero.

So, at the hospital I had to get undressed and put a night gown on and lay in the bed. They strapped me down with cables and monitors to keep track of the contractions and the babies heart rate. They put an IV in my arm even though I did not need it right away. Then they told me very little about what was going on and put a Cervidil next to my cervix so that I could start to dilate. My doctor asked me if I’d want an epidural and I told her no. The nurses were shocked and  couldn’t believe it and told me they’d keep the pain doctor on call in case I changed my mind. A few hours had passed and they finally took the pill out. I was only a 1 at that point, so it was working, but my doctor didn’t seem convinced. Again, mentioning a C-Section, which made me cry. I didn’t want a C-Section. She then ruptured my membranes, aka broke my water. Back then, I didn’t think anything of it, but you are supposed to give birth to a baby within 24 hours after your water breaks, especially in a hospital setting, they will try to force you to agree to a C-Section. Induction can fail, but you still have a choice, do not let them break your water if you do not want a C-Section. Premature breaking of your water can be a bad thing. Again, this is something I did not know at the time. They also went ahead and started the Pitocin drip to start up contractions.

Luckily for me, my water made me dilate faster, I ended up with the epidural and felt nothing after that. A few minutes after I received the epidural I was ready to push. I pushed for about 10 minutes and my first born son was born. After the epidural, I could barely walk because I was numb. I immediately was able to take a shower once the pain meds wore off. They continued the Pitocin afterwards to firm up my uterus.

If I could go back, I’d wait a little longer to see if he could be here on his own, I’d also refuse the epidural the entire time. One of my birthing stories will explain the logic behind why I’d do all of this.adamdadjad.jpg

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Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, Parenting

Raising a Good Child

Being a parent can be pretty tough some times. You are in charge of raising these little people into being either a good person or a bad person and then allowing them to achieve adulthood. It’s not always that simple. You spend the first 4-5 years of their lives either being the best parent you can be and trying to spend every single minute of their “babyhood” with them or blowing them off and pawning them onto other people. Then when they do get into school, this is the first time you see what type of person your child is going to be and how they will treat others. Are they going to be crazy and beat people up or are they going to be giving and kind, or walked all over?

As a mother of going on six boys, I know how different each kid can be and it’s not always the parent that makes the child that way. Sometimes it’s the environment or their genetic make up. Sometimes it is because their parents either were around a lot of people or around not so many. From the first time I became a mother to this new baby, my main goal is to be able to spend as much time as I can with all of my kids, to be there when they need me, so that they know that no matter what happens, I got their backs. That’s one thing my kids will tell you, that their mom is always here for them. I go to their school parties, chaperone their field trips, go to every single parent teacher conference, and I actively request updates from their teacher multiple times during the month. I’m that proud mother sitting in the crowd when her child achieves a simple student of the week. I’m that defensive mother that shows up at the school when someone doesn’t treat my child just right. But, in all, no matter how much time I spend with my kids, it’s always surprising to see how they interact when I’m not around or when they are around kids their own age.

I have two kids in school as of right now, I have an 8 year old who is in second grade and a 5 year old who is in Kindergarten. Both kids act crazy at home, one more than the other. They’re very open with us at home. My 8 year old was diagnosed with a Sensory Processing Disorder in Pre school and Selective Mutism. He doesn’t talk and hasn’t talked in school this entire time. It doesn’t stop him from testing his teachers and their limits, to see how far they will allow him to go. He’s been written up for throwing pencils and misbehaving when a sub is in charge. My 5 year old is the complete opposite, he’s very quiet and shy, but he is very giving. His teacher told me that if they are doing centers and someone else wants to play there, he hands them the little pin to play there and he’ll go to another station. He’s quiet and one day they had a sub and he was the only one in the class not to act like a dinosaur. She personally pulled him aside to thank him for being so good and she messaged me. Now, my older son has also earned a lion paw for helping another student get his back pack and things such as that. So, these two are very much helpful, but they are very much different.

Respect is the number one thing we need to be able to accomplish as parents. It starts at home. It does not start with you demanding respect from your child, no, quite the opposite. It starts with you respecting the child first, you know… treat others how you want to be treated? I do my best to treat my child like a person. They are very much capable of feelings and choices. They know right from wrong. I get asked all the time why I don’t cut my 5 year olds hair or my 3 year olds. My five year olds hair is long for a boy, but he’s requested to keep it that way. He doesn’t want a hair cut and likes his hair the way it is. I let him choose this, because it’s his hair and I wouldn’t like someone forcing me to get my hair cut if I didn’t want it cut, in fact, I had that happen. I was forced to get my hair all chopped off because of my egg donor wanting it to be cut off. I was very upset about it. My 3 year old, well, his hair is a fro and he looks cute that way, of course if he wanted his hair cut I’d let him, but he doesn’t seem to mind his curls, and if he’s okay with them, so am I. You may be thinking that, that is an awfully young age to allow your kids to choose whether or not they get their hair cut, but I tend to feel that when it comes to parenting, there’s more important things to argue over than a simple hair cut. My older son likes getting his hair cut, but he prefers to have it styled a certain way. Which is okay with me as well.

You can’t just blow off your Childs emotions because you feel a certain way. Your emotions are not superior just because you’re an adult. Your feelings don’t matter any more than theirs do. And you’re supposed to put your kids feelings above all else.

 

Posted in Mixed Six, Parenting

Happy Halloween-2016

It is officially the first holiday of “The Holidays Season” and it’s such a great feeling except, what is up with our weather. It’s like 80 degrees outside and it’s Fall?? I guess it’s normal to wear shorts in some parts of the country during this time of year. Even so… Happy Halloween to all those people out there.

My 5 year old received his first Student of the Week ever this year on Friday. I was in the gym watching all the kids who weren’t supposed to wear mask, wearing them anyways and the overexcited children talking so loud because they had a school Halloween, excuse me “Fall” Party that day. It got me to thinking, why are people such babies? I remember when I was a kid and got to wear my costume to school, parade around the block, and then go eat the cookies at my party.. I had fun. It wasn’t about religion or monsters. People are just huge party poopers! Just because we dress up and act all crazy on Halloween does not mean that we are going to start a ritual and start a magic spell to possess you and some of us are Pagans. We don’t look at Halloween parties as a time to celebrate our religion.

Schools have taken every single “religion” name out of parties. Our school parties are “Fall” “Winter” “Valentines Day”. Because of course Valentines Day is not a religious party at all. Again, I’m Pagan, I do not celebrate Christmas the way the world does, but I call it Christmas, I have Santa Clause for my children, as this is something children with imaginations should be able to grow up and celebrate and have memories, wonderful childhood memories.

Happy Halloween everyone and have a safe trick or treating night. My kids are Cap’n America, Sonic The HedgeHog, Spiderman, A Pirate, and Cookie Monster this year 🙂 My husband and I have matching shirts, totally not planned but it turned out to be a great idea anyways.