Posted in Mixed Six

Big Family, Small Minds

I don’t always have all six of my boys with me when I go out in public. Most of the time I’m grocery shopping or running errands and prefer to leave them at home with their dad. I most of the time take one or two with me, or maybe even three. Even with three, I get rude remarks or told that I have my hands full, nothing compared to the faces or remarks I get once I tell them this is only half of the children I do have.

I have taken all of my children with me, alone to some place and most of the time I get stares as though I’m this single mother with all these kids. People seem to feel sorry for me and offer me advice. I am not a single mother but people don’t care about that either. Here is just a taste of what I go through on a day to day basis with a big family.

To the car salesman that was questioning my income because he seen me with a cute baby and then started telling me all about his six kids, so I advised I too had six kids. When going over my income he stated: “well, we know that you don’t work, you obviously stay home with the kids.” Really? Is that not sexist or what? Just because I am a woman, I have to stay home and take care of six kids? Or are you stating that I cannot afford to work? Because, I very much do work, in fact, I am the sole provider of our “big family”. I nicely advised him that I do work and that I make xx per hour, which I won’t post here, but I do make pretty good money for a WOMAN and a MOTHER.

To the man in the theater at my sons’ program who stated that people who did not have a $100,000 income should not produce more than one child because they cannot financially provide for more than one child and they should at least give the children a fighting chance in this world. Let me just say that not everyone in this world is rich, some are rich with family and love and that’s what I tend to give my children. It’s not all about money when it comes to raising children, it’s about raising good people to do great things in this world. I do make a decent wage and bring home a decent paycheck. My children always have brand new school clothes and shoes every year. Brand new summer clothes and they do not go with out. My children have everything they need.

To the woman that asked, “you know what causes that right?” If you have to ask the question, do you know what causes it?

There’s much more, I could go on forever. There’s those that assume we are on welfare because we are a family of 8, those that assume that I’m a tired mother and don’t want to take time out of my busy time of being a mother to participate in my children’s school activities. Which I do participate in by the way. There’s those that ask me if I was trying to have a girl… nope we were not trying to have a girl.

I love having a big family. It makes holidays all the more fun and birthdays, well we already have a party right here.

 

 

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Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

A Home Birth: My Sixth Birthing Story-2016

As  I mentioned in my previous post, our last baby was supposed to be our last. I mean, no neither one of us made a permanent birth control decision, but we were content with the five kids we did have. The reason I didn’t want to make it permanent was because we were both so young and maybe one d ay we would want just one more baby. Well, on March 29th, my husbands birthday in 2016 we found out we were having another baby. The entire first few weeks we were anxious to see if this one would be a girl. We even took a  test called Sneek Peak and it’s basically to see if there’s any male fetal DNA  in your blood system. Mine came back a Boy. We thought that since our home was full of boys, that their DNA could have gotten on the package somehow, so we didn’t lose hope. I went to a 3D ultrasound pretty early, 14 weeks to be exact and turned out even that showed a boy. I cried because I knew this was it for me, we couldn’t just keep having babies because we want a girl. It means that I’d never get to go on mommy/daughter dates, etc. I cried because I was so angry that I was upset about the sex of my baby. It’s a legit feeling, though, it’s called gender disappointment. When I had my final ultrasound, I cried again because I knew at that point, he had to be a boy. I eventually got over it. As you will see in my birthing story.

This time it was all different, I didn’t go to a doctors office for check ups and I had a very close friend of mine who had done home births in the past. We live pretty far away from family, so we really had no one to help with the other five boys and we honestly don’t trust strangers. I decided that I was going to give it a shot and have a home birth. I remember when I first met my midwife and student midwife, I was so nervous because I had never done a home birth. They are really wonderful women. To do what they do, it takes something great.

After meeting her the first time, I started going to the birthing center once a month for check up’s until 36 weeks. Then it was every other week after that. I even got to choose whether or not to do the glucose test, you know that nasty orange drink? I could even do an alternative, this time, I decided to sit it out. Since I didn’t have any previous gestational diabetes I thought it would be okay. I had to go to a special lab to get my blood work done and the best part is, she never had to feel all over me when I went to my appointments. They were all pretty simple, she’d check the babies heart, measure the baby and my uterus, we’d talk about random things or she’d make sure she’d address any questions I may have had.

As you know, home birthing has no pain medication options, but, I was willing to take that step since my last son, I had no pain medication.  I was so sure that the baby would get here earlier than expected, I was due on December 2nd, 2016 and the day came and went. I got so frustrated because I was so tired and huge and my body just hurt. I was also really concerned that if I didn’t have him by 42 weeks, I’d be forced to go to the hospital and miss out on my home birth experience. I hit  41 weeks and by that time, it was like time was so slow, I could feel every single second of time becuase I just wanted the baby out. After 42 weeks there are supposedly higher risks your baby will be born still born. Well, 41 weeks hit and the days were counting. I had tried everything to help the baby come, nothing worked. Well,  I finally got out my breast pump and started pumping, I started having steady contractions… I went to get my 4-year-old a bath, as I bent down to wash his hair, my water just trickled down my legs. I remember yelling at my husband telling him “OMFG, MY WATER JUST BROKE” the kids all looked around trying to figure out, what water broke, trying to make me feel better. I was so scared because anytime my water broke before, the contractions got more painful. I started to shake because I was in such a hurry and I called the midwife to let her know. She showed up about 30 minutes later, I filled the birthing pool with hot water, and we waited. No baby. Nothing happened. So, the midwife checked me and said that I was dilated to a 2. That I could call her back if the contractions got heavier.

I tried resting through the night, but I just wanted to get my baby here. I also heard that 24 hours after your water breaks your midwife forces you to go to the hospital and it had me so stressed out because again, I wanted a home birth and at this point, I did not have a backup plan for our kids to be taken care of. I would start to contract and then it would stop when I got into the birthing pool, at this point I had no idea water helps stop contractions. About an hour before the 24-hour mark I contacted my midwife, told her to come on ahead and she showed up about an hour later. She checked me and she said I was a zero this time (weird right?) I almost started to cry when she told me that she has to let me know that after 24 hours there’s a risk of infection, but I do not have to go to the hospital. I was so relieved. She started giving me a tincture to help the contractions, she was going to do a membrane sweep, but she went to do it and it turns out that I was actually dilated to a 5, not a zero.  There was scar tissue which was preventing me from fully dilating and allowing her to check. The bad news? The baby hadn’t dropped far enough for her to do a membrane sweep. So, I took the tincture every 15 minutes, pumped for 15 minutes, walked for 15 on and off for a few hours. Then, once the contractions got steady and close together, I just walked and walked and walked until they hurt so bad I wanted in the water.

My midwife lets me get into the birthing pool to see if the contractions would stay, though they barely got too close together, I was contracting and they were painful. I kept my cool,  I kept it together because I don’t want other women to see me weak. Even though this was my strongest moment. The water was so great, so much relief from the pain, and I could just float there and be weightless with the world. It was wonderful. But, I went into transitioning and the pain just came on. At some point the baby was starting to come, I had to get out of the water, but begged the midwife to just drain the water out with me in there, she refused for safety reasons, which I understand. I got out and the student midwife, who was also a doula helped calm me and she helped me  through the contraction until I was able to get back in the water. After that, I decided I couldn’t do this anymore and I pushed out our sixth son.

After getting to hold my baby for the first time, I didn’t even check to make sure he was a boy until 20 minutes later when the midwife h ad to remind me to check! I was so happy to see him, it was just like a wave of love and emotions came over me. All I wanted to do was hold him. The midwife made sure he was okay, did a newborn screening and made sure I was doing okay before she left.

This experience was one of the greatest. I feel like its the closest I have ever been to one of my newborn babies, the closest the other kids got to be to one of their brothers. We didn’t have nurses coming in and bothering us, we had each other. I got to sleep in my own bed and take a shower in my own shower. I didn’t have to drive home or get in the car and come home, because I was already here, with my new baby. He was so used to all the sounds that when my 2-year-old threw a tantrum he didn’t even budge. It made me feel so str

It made me feel so strong to be able to have my son at home and to be able to have a midwife that was on the same level as me instead of a doctor that would force me to do things I did not want to do or agree with.  To allow my body to do what it was always meant to do and get ready when it was meant to be ready. FullSizeRender-1.jpg

 

 

Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

Fifth Birthing Experience-2014

My fifth baby was supposed to be our last baby. At this point, we had given up any hopes of having a girl and the excitement happened before we ever made it to our induction date. We were married 4  days before we had the fifth baby. I was so scared he’d want to go ahead and come out during our wedding, as I was walking down the aisle, but nope he stayed put.

Our induction day was scheduled for  April 20th, 2014, which was Easter.  I  had celebrated Easter with the other four boys prior to going to the hospital to get induced. As luck would have it, though, I didn’t  get induced. I was already having contractions when  I arrived and two hours later they were getting stronger and stronger.  By the fourth hour, the new nurse they decided to stick me with  (who felt she would have an uneventful evening)  would not listen to me about how bad the pain was.  You have to understand,  I  usually received an epidural before it got too bad, except with baby number three.  but, this time no luck.  She gave me some type of medication that put me to sleep. She refused to see how far  I was dilated and swore w e wouldn’t have the baby until t he next afternoon,  this w as about  8 pm at this point.  There was no way I’d hurt that bad for that long.  I begged for my epidural,  the nurse refused to call to have the doctor come and do it. About   10 pm the doctor sent the nurse to finally check to see how far I was dilated, I was an 8! Then I finally hit a  10 five minutes later.  The nurse went to prep and said the doctor was on the way.

My husband was on the phone and I just kept screaming and screaming, I told him I won’t’ stop until I get my epidural. I finally felt the urge to push, I gave   up on the epidural at  that point and told my husband we need a doctor,  he went to the hall to find one, the nurse came  back in, getting ready to take the bed  apart so I could push when the doctor was there, she  turned around to talk to another nurse after I begged h er to let me go  ahead and push, she told me to hold it. It’s called the Fetal  Ejection Reflex,  my body ejected the baby because the nurse had waited too long to allow me to push him out.

He w as the first one  I did not have any medication with.  The pain was gone instantly. I remember trying to reach for h into h help him stop crying. The nurse turned around in shock because he was between my legs on the bed. The doctor came in at that point with her eyes wide o n the baby and surprised. I told her,  that I kept telling the nurse I needed to have him now.

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Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

My Fourth Birthing Experience-2012

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I know this is a  tad bit late, I’ve  been super busy with the new baby and just life in general. My fourth birthing experience went just like the rest, in fact, I  was due on  Christmas day and really did not want to have a baby on Christmas, so they induced me about 6 days early.  I did get an epidural with him before I even started to feel the contractions.

In fact, this is probably the least eventful birthing experience between all 6 boys that I  have ever had. I mean my first one was extreme because he was my first child, my second one was supposed to be a girl, and my third one was born without induction. But,  I was induced with number four,  I had an epidural, everything went as it usually would.

Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

My Third Birthing Experience-2012

My third son was also born in the same hospital with the same doctor. At this point, an induction became a natural process for me. Being scheduled to be induced before my actual delivery date, I am ashamed to admit, became normal for me. So, I was scheduled to be induced on January 3oth and I went in to be induced.

My doctor decided since I went in that she would wait to start the Pitocin until the next day. The problem was, I had already went into labor. Before I even walked out the door to go to the hospital I had already lost my plug and was contracting, just not that bad. My aunt actually took us to the hospital to have our baby. I had already planned and gotten used to the idea of the epidural, to me it made life easy, not having to feel the hurt and pain and agony of birth, of which I really never felt in the first place.

I decided to get some sleep before all of the commotion started. Well, some time after midnight on January 31st, I started having transitional contractions. I told them I wanted my epidural and the nurse refused. I felt his head trying to come out, the doctor finally agreed to the epidural. The pain doctor threw me on my side, he was fired after doing this to several patients. I pushed my third son out, easily with pain meds.

If I could change anything, I would have went ahead and pushed him out without the epidural. If I had known what I do now.432370_10150583174603685_124572610_n.jpg

Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

My Second Birthing Experience- 2011

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As I mentioned in my last blog this is a series of my birthing experiences. I have six boys in all. My second son was actually supposed to be a girl. So, I have to say that this was the most surprising birthing experience in all.

I had my second son at the same hospital with the same doctor. I loved my doctor, though, now I don’t agree with all the choices or actions or convincing done on her part with each of my births I had.

I actually lived about 2 hours away this time from the hospital and my doctor was afraid that I would go into labor 2 hours away. On Feb 13th, 2011, I started having contractions and pains so I drove all the way to the hospital and didn’t really expect to have my daughter son, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t in actual labor. We got there in the middle of the night and my doctor came in to see me, she  was happy that I made it. I was only 37 weeks pregnant, for those that haven’t ever had a baby, this is the lowest you can be to be considered full term and it’s very dangerous to be induced as you don’t always know if your actual due date is off by a week or two. It can cause your baby to be born prematurely and put in the NICU. Lucky for me, that was not the case.

The doctor did start the Pitocin right away and my labor went pretty fast. She broke my water, just like she did with my first son and I got an epidural before I started to feel any pain. This had to be the easiest birth I ever had. I did take a bit longer to push him out because he was so small.

When he was born he was 6 lbs 10.5 ounces, he was NOT ready to be born, he should have been a few more pounds, but he was born on Valentines Day. They told me he was a boy and I screamed because I knew they had to be wrong, the ultrasound said he was a girl! Indeed, I now have a 5 year old boy to prove that he is definitely a boy and not a girl.

In this experience, I would have changed being induced so early. In fact the law changed the next year and they cannot induce you until 39 weeks now. This prevents any accidental inductions.

Posted in Mixed Six, My Crunchy Life, My Opinions, Parenting

My First Birthing Experience- Year of 2008

Before I get started, I want to say that I am doing this all by memory. Being a mother, you never forget your babies births, no matter how many you have. I now have six sons. Every day this week, I will be posting the experiences from hospital births, epidurals, to home births, and dealing with the pain. This is all from my perspective as the mother. How I felt during this time.

My first birthing experience was in August 2008. My pregnancy was fine, I had no issues, gained the right amount of weight, and my baby was a healthy 8lbs and 11 ounces when he was born. I remember walking into the doctors office on my due date, naive as can be because, it was my due date after all, I was going to have the baby. I mean surely the doctor would get him out since it was his “due date”. Now let me step in right here to remind you, that a due date is just an estimate it’s not actually the day your baby will be here. About 5-10% of babies are born on the estimated due date. Many factors go into this calculated date, such as when you conceived, the day of your last period, and the baby will tell you when they are ready to arrive. I didn’t know any of this. I learned a long the way everything I know now. Sadly, my doctor told me that the baby wouldn’t be here for some time due to the fact that I was not dilated or effaced at all. I was devastated. She also informed me that in about a week she would be leaving on vacation so she had to schedule me an induction for me at 41 weeks in order to give birth to my son. Again, I was devastated. I told her I’d prefer not to be induced and she said that she would not be able to deliver my baby so she lead me to believe I had no other choice than to be induced. I went along with it. She also informed me that if the induction failed, I’d have to have a C-Section, again, devastated. But, I went along with it. I was 19 years old and had no idea how birthing worked and up until 40 weeks, I had no clue they could force a baby to be born.

After my doctors appointment I went home and looked up ways to help you dilate. I read a lot about Evening Primrose Oil and went and got some, I put it by my cervix, I do want to point out this is not a good idea unless you research medication or herbs, I am not a doctor and am not recommending the use of EPO. It did NOT work for me at this point. I went to the hospital at 41 weeks and was still a zero.

So, at the hospital I had to get undressed and put a night gown on and lay in the bed. They strapped me down with cables and monitors to keep track of the contractions and the babies heart rate. They put an IV in my arm even though I did not need it right away. Then they told me very little about what was going on and put a Cervidil next to my cervix so that I could start to dilate. My doctor asked me if I’d want an epidural and I told her no. The nurses were shocked and  couldn’t believe it and told me they’d keep the pain doctor on call in case I changed my mind. A few hours had passed and they finally took the pill out. I was only a 1 at that point, so it was working, but my doctor didn’t seem convinced. Again, mentioning a C-Section, which made me cry. I didn’t want a C-Section. She then ruptured my membranes, aka broke my water. Back then, I didn’t think anything of it, but you are supposed to give birth to a baby within 24 hours after your water breaks, especially in a hospital setting, they will try to force you to agree to a C-Section. Induction can fail, but you still have a choice, do not let them break your water if you do not want a C-Section. Premature breaking of your water can be a bad thing. Again, this is something I did not know at the time. They also went ahead and started the Pitocin drip to start up contractions.

Luckily for me, my water made me dilate faster, I ended up with the epidural and felt nothing after that. A few minutes after I received the epidural I was ready to push. I pushed for about 10 minutes and my first born son was born. After the epidural, I could barely walk because I was numb. I immediately was able to take a shower once the pain meds wore off. They continued the Pitocin afterwards to firm up my uterus.

If I could go back, I’d wait a little longer to see if he could be here on his own, I’d also refuse the epidural the entire time. One of my birthing stories will explain the logic behind why I’d do all of this.adamdadjad.jpg