Posted in Random Thoughts

I don’t want to be your friend

I have been through so much in my life that I try to avoid people that will cause any more drama or disastrous relationships in my life. One thing I can’t stand is a fake friend. I don’t like people who pretend to care about me, or pretend that they don’t care about me for others. That’s fake. My loyalty as a friend goes deep, I like who my friends like, I hate who my friends hate, and if you don’t like my friends well then I just don’t like you. I will always choose my friend over whoever and that goes for my family and my husband. Loyalty just runs in my blood, I don’t choose it, I barely even make a conscious decision about a person that my friend is having issues with, I automatically, like second nature, dislike the person I’m dealing with.

With all of this being said, I have family that I probably won’t ever talk to for the rest of my life, which includes the woman that birthed me, not only her but the man who helped her make me…. I don’t need them, I could care less about them. Why would I allow people who aren’t in my day to day life to bring me down and make me feel any less than a person? Recently, I had a “Friend” that thought it was okay to hide me because she didn’t want others to know we were friends… why? I have always been a good friend, I mean unless you were discussing me during our falling out, why are you hiding me? Truth is, I don’t care about your life or what you are going through. I do have friends that won’t hide me and that will let every one in this world know we are friends. I don’t need to be hidden by anyone in this world.

My day to day activities include my children and husband, it’s just that easy. I don’t have much to talk about if I don’t trust you. And sometimes I just don’t feel like making new friends or having old ones enter back in my life. I had this one friend, and she wasn’t a friend at all, you know the keep your enemies closer kind of BS? Yea… well… I did that for a long time. This girl had news about every body and their mama, she would come and tell me what she heard and then go back and tell her other friends what she heard about me. It wasn’t until our last fallen out when she lied to well one of the men that supposedly helped make her second son (apparently there were two men that did this). She lied and said a bunch of stuff and then a year or so later she tried to become friends again, ha! I don’t think so.

But, I’ve also had closer friends that just stopped talking to me all together. I’d try to text them and they never answered me back, so now they don’t have my number. Or those friends that again hide me. If someone really wants to be your friend they’ll make an effort  and they won’t ever make you feel like you don’t matter.


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